Mini You

“She looks JUST like you!”

Kendall’s Daddy, my Team Kendall co-captain, is reminded regularly from everyone they pass that his daughter is his spitting image; from the very dark hair (although his has gotten a bit…lighter) to the big brown eyes to the heart-shaped face, they are two peas in a pod. From the moment she came out of my body, it has been clear that his DNA definitely dominated. I often joke that it is as though I was just the oven for the creation of her amazing little body.

When your child has a disorder or disability, it is difficult to tell which characteristics are nature versus nurture versus symptom, and it can be a challenge to form common bonds with a child who is not experiencing life the way you have. Parents typically enjoy seeing the connections between themselves and their children; good or bad, similarities strengthen the familial ties. Biological parents can look for physical characteristics, and all parents like to see that their values, hobbies, and preferences are perhaps influencing the adult their child will eventually become.

Tom and I had anticipated sharing interests with our child; he would cover any budding athletics, and I would nurture potential arts and music capabilities. I had dreamed of watching my own child perform in a piano recital or cheering from the bleachers as kiddo and Daddy took to the field. None of those things are happening as I had envisioned, as is usually the case with our Kendall, but we are finding a multitude of other ways to connect with this person we brought into the world.

Reading is one of the prime examples of a shared family interest. Tom and I both grew up with our noses in books. Eager to instill a love of reading early, her library was well stocked before my second trimester. We read to her in the womb, as soon as she come into the world, and every day since. Kendall’s love for books is so strong that books are not only for reading. Starting before her first birthday, Kendall has carried and stacked and sorted and gazed at books constantly. She will not leave the house without several held tightly in her hands, and a few favorites always come with us into the store, on a walk, and to play on the playground. They are a comfort item like a well-loved stuffed animal or blanket. And the prospect of getting a new book can be so exciting that it is overstimulating at times–right there with you, kid! While we’re on copy #309 of Harold and the Purple Crayon (definitely not built to last…) instead of sharing our childhood favorites like The Chronicles of Narnia, we got our bookworm.

One of the best similarities between Kendall and her Dad, something that is uniquely theirs, is their enormous grin. And, not only are their smiles absolutely identical, they bring them out in one another just by entering the room. Her smile is always the largest for her Daddy–when he gets home from work, when he dances with her in the kitchen, when he throws her high in the air, and when the two of them share a joke. He can’t help but grin from ear to ear–mirroring that same smile back to her–as he scoops her into his strong arms, listens to her singing in the next room, or snickers behind his hand at her mischief. That smile, with their spirit shining through to one another, is so perfectly matched and something that they will always share.

For all of the joy that he brings to our lives, through the creation of her smile and so many of the reasons for it to light up our world, I am so fortunate to lead Team Kendall by his side. Happy Father’s Day, Tom.