In Memoriam: the First Kendall

We are fortunate to have many family members who have faithfully served our country in the Armed Forces, setting an example of sacrifice and commitment to others. Notably, Kendall’s Papa (Tom’s dad) served in the US Army during the Vietnam War, my Papa (my dad’s dad) served in the US Army Air Corps in World War II, and two of my cousins served in the US Army. Thankfully, they all came home, not to be mourned on Memorial Day.

On this Memorial Day weekend, I am thinking about my Grandpa (my mom’s dad), a prominent member of Team Kendall despite having passed away more than two years before she was born.

Kendall Litchfield was born on September 16, 1925 in the tiny town of Sciota, IL, where he grew up on a horse farm. Following his high school graduation, during World War II, he served in the US Marine Corps in Southeast Asia and China. Typical of his generation, he rarely spoke about his military service except to share lighter stories about time spent with his buddies. There weren’t many of those, so I lovingly listened to the same few stories many times. He particularly liked telling about the day he and a member of his unit were flying a two-seater transport aircraft in Northern China, which he claimed his friend landed right on the Great Wall.

There was one story that he didn’t tell often, but when he did, it was because he wanted to share something deeper. He was in charge of communications for his unit, and on August 14, 1945, he was the one to relay the telegram that said “That’s it lads,” letting them know that the war was over. We found an old scrapbook after he passed away containing a copy of that telegram, a reminder of the day he knew he was going home and would not be one of the fallen.

He attended Western Illinois State College thanks to the GI Bill after the war where he met the love of his life, my Grandma, Carolyn. After receiving his bachelor’s degree in physical education, he took a teaching job at the Illinois School for the Deaf. The Headmaster, Dr. Cloud, who would eventually become my grandfather’s lifelong mentor, encouraged him to continue his studies at Colombia University. By the time he completed his master’s degree in special education and school administration, Dr. Cloud had transitioned to the New York School for the Deaf and immediately offered his protege a position. My Grandpa’s loyalty and incredible passion for providing high-quality education to all children led him to spend his entire career on that campus, rising from Teacher to Principal to Headmaster. A true leader, he was also a founding member and the first president of the New York State Association of Educators for the Deaf.

Little did he know, decades ago, that he was helping to build a foundation of compassion and understanding of differences in the family that would eventually welcome a little girl with abilities outside of the norm. (My Grandma was certainly a driving force, as well, but that’s a post for another day!) And, little did Tom and I know, when we named that little girl after the first Kendall, that we were truly honoring his legacy of living with passion and determination.

My Grandpa’s career choice inspired many members of our family to devote their own careers to special education, elementary education, and support for those with disabilities. My mom (Kendall’s Nana) followed in her father’s footsteps as a Teacher of the Deaf and Speech Pathologist in the public school system. Her older brother spent his career in education, as well, as an elementary school Teacher and Principal, and her younger brother supported the Deaf community as an interpreter in the psychiatric unit of a hospital. My “little” brother is a Treatment Team Leader, supervising state-run day treatment facilities and group homes for adults with disabilities in the Rochester, NY area, and during college, I worked in a public special education program as a 1:1 aide for students with a wide range of physical and developmental disabilities…many of them strikingly similar to what I see in my own child today. And, because so many have been professionally involved, the entire family has been consistently exposed to the ways people with disabilities live and learn.

When she was a baby and toddler, I looked for similarities between the two Kendalls in order to feel a connection and sometimes laughed at myself for perhaps looking too hard (did she grab for that golf ball because she knows how much he loved to golf?!). As she has gotten older, though, it is unbelievable how much his spirit really does live within her.

We can start with coincidental but comical similarities like their finicky eating habits–Grandpa made an art of pushing food around his plate, and we gave up on regular meals with our little girl long ago. There are genetic similarities like the fact that our child hangs out at the very bottom of the growth chart, and Grandpa was always the shortest guy in any crowd. And my heart swelled when she developed a love of horses, just as he had.

The quintessential Kendall characteristics, though, are seen in the tenacious, determined ways they both approach/ed life. The first Kendall was well-known for his won’t-take-no-for-an-answer drive, which led him to provide the very best for his family, his students, and all who came into his life. One of the best (or worst) examples of his determination was the day he and my grandmother bought a car with a credit card and moved themselves out of the assisted-living facility their children had carefully researched for them. He lived his life with great passion and always according to his own rules.

When I watch the way that our young Kendall moves through her world, I can’t help but see her predecessor. She is completely free of social awareness, which means that she is absolutely direct about her feelings and desires and does not hesitate to run, jump, dance, or sing anytime the mood strikes her. If she’s not interested, she’s not going to participate or cooperate (this makes things like dressing for school a particular challenge); on the other end of that spectrum, if the activity excites her, she’s all in and doesn’t want it to end–until she abruptly decides that she’s done. It is an enviable way to live! Tom likes to say that she gets this from me, but I think the first Kendall was definitely the original source.

Frank Sinatra’s My Way was Grandpa’s anthem, and we played this fitting tribute at his memorial service. While such a determined personality can be difficult to parent, it is beautiful to see the same uncompromising spirit that the first Kendall possessed push our young Kendall to live her best life. And wouldn’t he be proud to know that he was able to contribute to Team Kendall by influencing and helping to prepare some of its key members…